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Oct. 20th, 2025 05:26 pm
vidwindow: (kaede)
[personal profile] vidwindow posting in [community profile] addme
Name: lise

Age:

30s

I mostly post about:

every day interactions, projects i’m working on, movies, mostly just my every day life! i’m probably going to start posting some photography too.

My hobbies are:

photography, cinema, writing, art in general, cooking, reading, watching obscure films & shorts, learning italian, thrifting, collecting vhs tapes

My fandoms are:

not really in fandoms much, but some of my media interests include: horror (halloween series, five nights at freddy’s, no i’m not a human, giallo films, killer7, deadly premonition, etc), speculative fiction (kathe koja especially), psychological thrillers, internet ephemera, weird niches in general. i’m really into things like mannequins, dolls, masks, and animatronics as well.

I'm looking to meet people who:

are artsy & weird! people who always have a project going (doesn’t have to art related - stem can be included here too), activists,

My posting schedule tends to be: just returned to dw (lifelong online journal-er though) sand i am fairly busy so it’ll most likely be weekly



When I add people, my dealbreakers are:

not really anything besides the obvious! just be respectful & tag warnings appropriately :)

Before adding me, you should know: i had a deadjournal since i was 11, i think that says everything about me hahaha

AWS outage

Oct. 20th, 2025 10:11 am
alierak: (Default)
[personal profile] alierak posting in [site community profile] dw_maintenance
DW is seeing some issues due to today's Amazon outage. For right now it looks like the site is loading, but it may be slow. Some of our processes like notifications and journal search don't appear to be running and can't be started due to rate limiting or capacity issues. DW could go down later if Amazon isn't able to improve things soon, but our services should return to normal when Amazon has cleared up the outage.

Edit: all services are running as of 16:12 CDT, but there is definitely still a backlog of notifications to get through.

Edit 2: and at 18:20 CDT everything's been running normally for about the last hour.

Mental Health and Me

Oct. 19th, 2025 02:24 pm
puppetmaker: (Default)
[personal profile] puppetmaker
 mental health :noun

1.    psychological well-being and satisfactory adjustment to society and to the ordinary demands of life.

2.    the field of medicine concerned with the maintenance or achievement of such well-being and adjustment.

 

Mental Health is a broad topic. Everyone has mental health. Some have good mental health, some have mostly good mental health, some have lousy mental health, and some have the worst mental health.

 

I have, as I stated before, situational depression, depression, dyslexia, and a hyperactive disorder.

 

The situation is the passing of Peter and all that comes with that. Before it was my worrying about Peter and his health. That has been going on since he had his first stroke at Disney World in Disney Hollywood studios in front of Sid Cahuenga's. That were we think it started. We don’t stand there anymore. I have drugs to even me out and they are working. Better living through chemistry.

 

The depression is something I have been dealing with most of my life. It came to a head during my time at the Yale School of Trauma…excuse me…Drama. I was suicidal when everything seemed to come tumbling on my head. I got help there. Both talk therapy and some mental health drugs to get me back to even. I managed to finish my master’s thesis and graduate. 

 

After that it was an occasional bout with it. I got good at recognizing the symptoms.

 

There isn’t much I can do about being dyslexic. I have coping skills. I taught myself to read after trying it their way. Because I was such a good reader, I was listed as a lazy speller. No one realized what was going on with me until college where my freshman English teacher ran studies in dyslexia. He figured out after I turned in three essays in my class. I got tested and was found to be very dyslexic. Made parts of my life make new sense. Left and right have very little meaning to me. If I can think hard, I can sort it out. North, South, East, and West had no meaning until I move here with Peter. South is the shore. North is opposite from south. If I am facing North, East is to my right and West is to my left. Sunrises and Sunsets taught me that. North star can also sort me out. 

 

ADHD is a new one but makes sense considering some of my behaviors. I had to take a lot of tests for me to be diagnosed. My case is mild, but it does, at times, effect my life. It is something my therapist and I are working on. Now I can recognize when I am falling into patterns I need to get out of. This is another disorder I am taking drugs for, and they have helped a lot. 

 

I have no idea how long I am going to be on my medications. I know a couple are in the rest of my life category. Eventually I will stop some medications because I don’t need them anymore. I look forward to that day.

 

I encourage people to check in on their mental health. And for anyone really depressed, it is not weakness to ask for help. 

 

We must stop the stigma of depression and other forms of not good mental health. One goes to a doctor when they are feeling ill for their body. How is that different than going to a doctor for your mind? 

 

I am grateful for my mental health team.

Yuletide letter 2025

Oct. 18th, 2025 10:33 am
regshoe: Black silhouette of a raven in flight, wearing a Santa hat (santa hat)
[personal profile] regshoe
Dear Yuletide Writer,

Thank you for writing me a fic in one of these lovely small fandoms! I've said a bit below about why I love each of them and given some prompts, but if you have a completely different idea you'd love to write then go ahead—I'll look forward to seeing whatever you come up with.

Fandoms are A Glass of Blessings - Barbara Pym, Hilary Tamar Mysteries - Sarah Caudwell, Howards End - E. M. Forster and Kidnapped - McArthur & McCarthy & Stevenson )

Plant It And They Will Come

Oct. 18th, 2025 09:34 am
poliphilo: (Default)
[personal profile] poliphilo
 Goldfinches! Not one or two but a whole flock of them!

They're not rare, but this is the first time I've seen them in our garden. They only stayed for a moment but now they've scoped us out I'm hopeful they'll return. 

Oh, and look! I was about to post this when I spotted a squirrel walking along the fence!  Squirrels have visited us before, but not very often.

I think our policy of planting and encouraging trees and shrubs in a space that was mostly lawn is paying off. The back garden isn't a wood yet, but it will be......
puppetmaker: (Default)
[personal profile] puppetmaker

This week I worked at my job three days in a row. I woke up uncertain of the day or the date. Sorted it out with my iPhone pretty fast.

 

I have a project for the weekend. I am making a pumpkin puppet for a contest at work. I have a clever idea now let us see if I can execute it the way I want to. I think I have all the pieces I need. Crossing fingers I have enough cloth.

 

Tomorrow is “No Kings” day. There is a local protest that I am going to join.

 

Sunday will be spent with friends.

 

Monday I must go meet with the funeral director for the family memorial.

 

Then back to work I go.

 

I have a life of sorts. Things that need to be done and things I want to do.

 

It is a big adjustment from the last eleven years or possibly longer.

 

I was Peter’s caretaker/stage manager/agent for a long time. He could play good cop all day long and I was willing to be the bad cop and get him what he was owed.

 

Now I am a bit adrift. For the first time in a long time, I get to think about me and what I want and need. And I honestly don’t have much a clue. I have sublimated my wants for others. There are a couple of things, but I really don’t have the money at the moment to do them. 

 

I am still waiting for the will to go through probate. There is not a lot in the estate, but it will help.

 

I am also trying to find a job that pays a living wage just like a lot of other people. I’ve been out of that job market for 22 years now. I am over 60. Not the first person who one would pick for a job. I am wondering if I should go back to school to get some other skills that pay better.

 

I have lots of skills that could be useful in the right job. I am organized and good at solving problems along with getting information quickly to the right people. And all the other skills I learned as a stage manager. I have office skills having started as an assistant at Del Rey and worked my way to Associate Editor. Honestly, I would be happy to have the job I had at Del Rey when I first started for the rest of my career.

 

Time is a funny thing. I remember things I did and then figure out that was over twenty years ago or thirty years ago or forty years ago. Forty years ago, I was stage managing my way around Atlanta and applying to go to the Yale School of Drama. It seems so long ago but also such a short time.

 

Having things happen on certain days gives me a sense of time but on those days. When I am on my own time, I can get confused. Thus, the use of a wall calendar and my handy electronics.

 

I am grateful for times past and present.

Picture Diary 106

Oct. 17th, 2025 04:05 pm
poliphilo: (Default)
[personal profile] poliphilo
 Picture Diary 106

1. Abracadabra


rWVtpljq9kGvVfPx8LId--0--w0anb.jpeg

2. Coming Through

FBfXP7o4JvUlZSZlGvQN--0--g1xvn.jpeg

3. River

yqow3nm92ypvAw9ysEKV--0--wiwsk.jpeg

4. Whirlpool

87W0f8FibqPhLXhvckI1--0--2eovh.jpeg

5. Life Form

RUTpnMc4MFFfyyW9mZtf--0--1vn8y.jpeg

6. Mercurial

5DcOgnqOUCShW0QORQQX--0--wm1bu.jpeg
tombstuck: A Photo of Sam Winchester from the TV series Supernatural, edited to add a pink bow in his hair. (Default)
[personal profile] tombstuck posting in [community profile] addme
Before adding me, you should know: that i am open to making friends with people who are very different from me! i think it's wonderful and healthy to be friends with people who have a different worldview from me, and i always try to be nice and respectful, even when i don't agree with someone.

basic info:
tombstuck, mid 20s, missouri usa
 
gender and sexuality: bisexual, poly (not currently open to new partners), trans, enby, femboy, they/them
 
other identifiers: alterhuman, gnome/elf otherhearted
 
my vibes: silly, horny, friendly, excitable, odd and unusual

I mostly post about: daily life, my current exciting interests, music, and fandom
 
My fandoms are: I read widely in any fandom if the summary and tags catch my eye, and if the author is a friend! my fandoms in particular are supernatural, homestuck, and marvel stuff (specifically spider-man right now). But I have a lot of other fandoms I'm less active in too.
 
I'm looking to meet people who: are interested in my writing and will listen to me yapping about it (i will do the same for others!), people who will interact with my journal entries... um, not a dealbreaker by any means but it would be nice to know some other alterhumans, therians, otherkin and things like that, because my brother is a therian, i'm otherhearted, and i don't know any other alterhumans at all.
 
My posting schedule tends to be: very sporadic! i just created my account recently so it's up in the air, but i plan on being here every day for the foreseeable future.
 
When I add people, my dealbreakers are: i'll add anyone who adds me, but i will probably remove them if i have personal issues with them after that.

i hope to hear from some of you soon!~
 

Shallow

Oct. 17th, 2025 09:03 am
poliphilo: (Default)
[personal profile] poliphilo
 The day before yesterday I planted a whole lot of daffodil bulbs. Last night the fox dug several of them up again. 

I guess foxes see turned earth and think, "Oooo. small creatures in burrows!"

This, it occurs to me, is one of the reasons why shallow graves are not such a good idea....

(no subject)

Oct. 17th, 2025 02:49 am
toothpastepancake: (Default)
[personal profile] toothpastepancake posting in [community profile] addme
Name: Agnes

 

Age: mid 20s

I mostly post about: personal stuff and fandom equally, also my creative projects (I'm a huge writer and artist!) I also talk about my tech projects and such. Health struggles & disability/mental health activism and destigmatization. Cooking. Life goings-on. My OCs. I'm trying to get back into using dreamwidth more, so I'd love to make some new friends!

My hobbies are: writing, digital art, watching tv, making video games, playing video games, crafting, thrifting, technology (mostly self-hosting and personal websites right now), cooking...

My fandoms are: I'm a huge science fiction fan, so right now it's Babylon 5, The Orville, Star Trek (mostly lower decks and star trek online), etc. Also super into Yellowjackets and Psych at the moment.

I'm looking to meet people who: don't mind my journal being a little all over the place, are kind and accepting, love science fiction, art, writing, tech, or making OCs, or creativity in general. People who are spiritual but queer-affirming, pro-choice and open-minded. People who like to talk and don't mind if I'm awkward. People who share my fandoms, especially my special interest which is currently The Orville. Other neurodiverse folks. Or anyone who is cool with the things I mention here!

My posting schedule tends to be: sporadic

When I add people, my dealbreakers are: Racism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, fatphobia. Please don't be a bigot. Also, I don't wish to add anyone who identifies as an "anti" or believes certain types of fiction should inherently be censored, and will unadd for this kind of behavior. 

Before adding me, you should know:  I have autism and dissociative identity disorder. These things make it a little hard for me to communicate, but I promise I always mean well. I also have memory issues.

Picture Diary 105

Oct. 16th, 2025 06:50 pm
poliphilo: (Default)
[personal profile] poliphilo
 Picture Diary 105

1. In a world of illusion


fjaTOsRIyaJl3DsQeIuy--0--4o8pg.jpeg

2. Comforters

8Y5Tr9zPh1RdpNUDCNKA--0--71sa4.jpeg

3. Leaving home

u6OSyMYAT03ZEuuJfTkt--0--odakd.jpeg

4. The good earth

5v6qWtUD3TM5biejmowC-mAnrU-adjusted.jpeg

5. Henna

om4T9p1f2RE0hc4GnFfG--0--n2uij.jpeg

6. First light

PHBoOla2YHoCvItyBrRs--0--024eu.jpeg

Thief

Oct. 16th, 2025 09:15 am
poliphilo: (Default)
[personal profile] poliphilo
 You've been stealing from us.

Thus far you don't know we know.

A friend suggests that we lay traps for you so we can be 100% sure, but I think this would be a little mean and sneaky. 

(You do realise that as little as 200 years ago what you've done could have got you hung or transported to Australia? Let no-one deny that we've made some progress in this modern era of ours!)

I have reviewed the options- and  come to the conclusion that the least destructive one is to go on pretending we don't know, while doing what we can to ensure you aren't tempted again.

A mitigating circumstance is that you're hard up and we're not- and all property is theft, innit!

The lest of your offences is that you've taken things.

It's worse that you've destroyed our trust.

And the worst thing of all is that you've given us power over you- and I really don't want it.

re: Happiness

Oct. 15th, 2025 09:26 am
merridia: (Default)
[personal profile] merridia
Hello it is Wednesday and I am at work. Thanksgiving was fine, mostly notable because all weekends should be three-day weekends. I took the BUS to go to the MOVIES all by MYSELF, because the new bus routes absolutely live up to the hype for the time being, and it no longer takes an hour and a half (if I'm lucky) to get across town! Hot diggity! My options for entertaining myself without the ability to drive have just opened up massively!! Also I found an old long wool coat of my grandmother's that fits me perfectly, it just needs a belt. Wins upon wins!

It is WrestleDream go home day, so I will need to make time for three hours of graps today and tomorrow (probably tomorrow, sometimes my favourite torrent provider can be slow on the upload) while still trying to catch up on Dracula Daily (I came back from vacation just as the entries started getting super long, so it was easy to fall behind). Also need to do my nails and buy booze for the PPV and get my brother to close my mother's sticky bedroom window, because it's that time of year where she leaves it open even though it's below zero outside, so the heater constantly kicks in and I wake up in a sauna at the other end of the house in the middle of the night. Except for last night, because I stayed up way too late reading and listening to a pair of professional wrestling-themed electronica/pow-wow concept EPs (WHAT) and just kinda experienced the creep into hothouse territory firsthand.

It's snowed a few times now, but never enough for it to actually stay on the ground, so I refuse to count it. AUTUMN LINGERS.

15. Can Money Buy You Happiness?

Not directly, but it can certainly buy you the means to take it for yourself in a way that 'no money' cannot.

October Movies: TRON: Ares, Lurker, Magnolia, Punch-Drunk Love, Roofman, The Smashing Machine, The Fly, Sorcerer, Gladiator

Blue Sky

Oct. 15th, 2025 07:34 am
poliphilo: (Default)
[personal profile] poliphilo
 Ailz has had "Mr Blue Sky" going through her head for days. Nice song, but nothing will bear endless repetition. This morning In an attempt to drive it away and - at worst- replace it with something else she turned the radio on. Guess what was playing!

Oh, but the universe is a tricky little bitch......

3i Atlas

Oct. 14th, 2025 09:11 am
poliphilo: (Default)
[personal profile] poliphilo
 3i Atlas is a very peculiar thingy that is hurrying through the solar system from a source far out in space. The original wisdom was that it was just another comet- though a very big one- but the trouble is that it's not behaving like a comet. It's such an anomaly that even the scientists- at least the bolder ones- are saying, "Could be artificial...", "Could be alien....", Could be conscious or consciously directed...."  The closer it gets to us the less data is being shared with the public and- well I never- it's approach to Mars coincided with the shut-down of the US government- which includes NASA with all its probes and talking heads. 

And, well, that's all really: 3i Atlas is odd, it doesn't fit with our established scientific paradigms, the boffins are brainstorming among themselves but don't want to let the rest of us in on the conversation. The psychics and channelers are having a field day....

I have nothing to say from myself. I just wanted to acknowledge here, publicly, that this is going on.....
regshoe: Black and white picture of a man reading a large book (Reading 2)
[personal profile] regshoe
...perhaps shouldn't be the title of this post, because the material in volume 9 of the Abinger Edition of Forster's complete works was never published by him under that name: it's a various collection of previously-unpublished and largely unfinished writing put together and published posthumously and only in this edition. I picked it up mostly for Nottingham Lace, an abandoned early attempt at a novel, but I thought I might as well read the rest while I'd got the book (obtained semi-licitly from a local university library). In fact I finished reading it some time ago and never got round to writing up a review, but now that I've got some things to procrastinate on, here goes...

The pieces are arranged roughly in chronological order by composition, so Nottingham Lace is first (it's always annoying when the first thing in a collection is the one you like best, isn't it). I was interested in it because it's something of a precursor to The Longest Journey, and in that light it is thoroughly worth reading. Edgar Carruthers, the protagonist, is a younger and less endearing version of Rickie Elliot, still living at home with his aunt and uncle and, unlike Rickie, not going to a public school, not even the local one near where they live in Sawston. The plot commences when Edgar and his family meet Sidney Trent, a master at the school and a strange composite of Stewart Ansell, Stephen Wonham and perhaps a bit of Mr Jackson. His background is almost identical to Stewart's*, but reflects itself in a totally different way: Forster is, as so often, writing social comedy about clashes between characters of different class backgrounds (the opening line which provides the title, 'They are Nottingham lace!' is Edgar's aunt's disapproving comment on the Trents' ill-bred net curtains), and Trent is Vulgar in manners and personality in a way Stewart, despite his shopkeeper-class origins, never is, and which in TLJ is dealt with rather more complicatedly through Stephen. It's as if Forster is beginning to work out ideas that he'll later shuffle into a better pattern, and although TLJ is much better in basically every way (including fannish appeal and slashiness), this made for some really interesting context for it. Besides that, Nottingham Lace is frustratingly unfinished—it breaks off just as the plot is beginning to get nicely dramatic—and there is some potential for speculation in where it might have been going.

*With one exception: he's from Newcastle. I mourn the Geordie!Stewart that might have been.

Arctic Summer is the other longish fragment in this book, and unfortunately its title is metaphorical; I was rather hoping for Forster's take on polar travel. It's another incomplete novel, begun between Howards End and Maurice and dealing with themes familiar from the books Forster had published by that point: the conflict between what he calls the 'civilised' and the 'heroic', as expressed through the meeting of two Englishmen of contrasting background, character and values while on holiday in Italy. I think by this stage of his career Forster has moved more towards his idea of the 'heroic' than I'm really interested in, but what this piece was really worth reading for was an illustration of the writing process, albeit in an unsuccessful form. The Abinger volume prints three separate pieces: the 'Main Version', self-explanatorily titled; the 'Tripoli Fragment', a disconnected fragment related to but out of continuity with the Main Version; and the Radipole Version, a fascinating revision in which the same two main characters meet in a completely different way with a completely different plot and setting—that's so suggestive about how Forster thought of his stories. The Main Version itself is in two pieces, an early part which Forster later reworked fairly substantially in order to give a reading of it at a literary festival in 1951, and some more unpolished later chapters; in between is a note which he wrote to accompany the reading, explaining what he was trying to do and why it wasn't working, and both this and the revisions detailed by the Abinger edition make terribly interesting reading from a writer's perspective. Arctic Summer is also pretty subtextually queer, although not in a way I find particularly compelling; at this stage Forster was finding that the impossibility of writing openly about homosexuality was seriously hampering his writing in general—hence writing Maurice and then not publishing another novel for ten years, presumably.

Apart from these two there are four variously-complete short stories and then a set of short, disconnected fragments, which range widely in time of writing and subject matter. 'Ralph and Tony', probably my favourite of the longer ones, is another very subtextually queer story set in the Alps and featuring a thinly-veiled self-insert and a 'heroic' masculine character who's a medical student passionate about mountaineering. 'The Tomb of Pletone' is a historical story about a cult leader (?) in fifteenth-century Greece; 'Unfinished Short Story', which the Abinger editors didn't give a proper title, is set in Egypt and features a vividly-described aeroplane flight among other things; 'Little Imber' is bizarre kinky sci-fi which I found too squicky to appreciate its completely textual queerness. 'Stonebreaking' is worth a mention among the very short fragments for also being textually gay. The final, untitled fragment, given only in the Notes section at the back of the volume, is a set of beautifully mysterious part-sentences from two unrelated pieces preserved on either side of a single torn-out notebook page—Forster was evidently writing across facing pages of the notebook, so only half of each line survives.

—So, most of the stuff in this volume did not greatly work for me, as Forster's writing goes, but it was still completely worth reading for its fascinating variety and its insight into the writing process, both in itself and by comparison with Forster's completed novels. And I still haven't read all of those, by the way—onto A Passage to India next...

Terracotta

Oct. 13th, 2025 11:07 am
poliphilo: (Default)
[personal profile] poliphilo
 The first Emperor of China had himself buried under a hill surrounded by a simulacrum of his earthly Empire. The pits containing the terracotta army are merely a outlying section of this enormous folie de grandeur. Archaeologists continue to nibble away at it but haven't yet worked up the nerve to strike at its centre- where, allegedly, the Emperor lies under an artificial sky surrounded by the rivers in China in liquid mercury. Perhaps they fear the black magic that was enacted to animate this subterranean world with its thousands of golems. I don't blame them. The thing is a colossal evil. A tumour on the skin of the good earth. Best leave it well alone.....

The first Chin Emperor was a standardiser and a centraliser. He aspired to complete control of everything in life- and complete control of everything in death. Those who fear death also fear life. "I want things to stay this way forevver", is what they're saying, "With me in charge, of course." The Chin Emperor's funerary complex is a monument to his fear. I can think of few things more abject.

Or sad.

Did the First Emperor ever experience a moment free of that fear- fear of enemies, fear of betrayal by friends, fear of things not going entirely his way, fear of someone thinking or doing something of which he might not approve? Did he ever know love?

Here was perfected the model of governance which the present rulers of China still aspire to- and not just the rulers of China, but all dictators always and everywhere.....

Big Word

Oct. 12th, 2025 09:11 am
poliphilo: (Default)
[personal profile] poliphilo
 Our newish bath mat has the word IDEALISTS printed across it in big bold letters. 

I think it's the name of the company that made it. 

IDEALISTS.

Big word, lots of letters.

So when I'm in the bathroom I play the game of seeing how many words I can form from those letters.

One of these days I mean to write them all down.

This morning I found liase and liased....

Harvey Awards 2025

Oct. 11th, 2025 02:14 pm
puppetmaker: (Default)
[personal profile] puppetmaker
 In which Peter joins the greats in the hall of fame.

 
Last night was the 2025 Harvey Awards. 

 During the ceremony, Peter was inducted into their hall of fame.

 It was a nice awards ceremony with killer appetizers and an open bar.  Which is a good way to get the comic industry to show up.

 Paul Levitz gave the introduction for Peter. He talked about Peter’s love for the industry and how he was a friend you could count on. It was a lovely speech.

Then it was my turn to speak for Peter. I could feel the melancholy in the room. I decided to lighten the mood. I opened with, “Peter David is officially a ghost writer.” The room howled with laughter and applause. The mood changed and I talked about how Peter loved the industry and the people in it. I think I did well. I did get compliments afterwards and met a lot of people who had their own Peter David story to share. I learned from several how important his work is in their countries. It was comforting to know how beloved Peter was by his colleges.

Today I am taking a break from the convention. My right knee is acting up and I want a day to get it back in shape before hitting the floor one last time on Sunday as I still have some people to visit at the convention.

I am grateful that Peter is in the Harvey Hall of Fame

Just Call Me Vidal

Oct. 11th, 2025 09:51 am
poliphilo: (Default)
[personal profile] poliphilo
 IMG_8414.jpeg

IMG_8415.jpeg

Ailz and I have been cutting one another's hair since forever. Yesterday I got a bit creative with it....